l+ο4yngo0{~R]R„ Ttn8يjՎ[Q]YtLucxp/4Z`3'F㈲GJՙDVK"ߠNt uË<߭ ߫ ЃAÒ__߭wߜY ݲiR麸3ߏƚBE?+]ed cR%~t ݒcw }ꯤhh/ȕrwlԅ館w썷y.-)}`lzߎuuؑDba%[͛/k{lxuh$A\">,3Ùk缂vL %lߋs fϖY ߱M=FX󹪭)\ēo%N8Pܾ3񣱽*ߜSx)dҺNt `jݘC}4{Jg 5;u#l de c5;⺢*𐨰i߈T }UU[CS^HF_U_ #ڋ͍ՍfV?F썌m}i"7 -3]J)ضۥ %UW;!NEkػ U5!'&c+C=f}+Z:FAx2_^wѵף݉+pU F~iUy}7jV RUD' Ao"X07c%dt>$b ВOߍAqၬ8¹їQ➚g*伴y <ʵ-4ҎAs:y*<ÝrQ+I&5'Sbi,5u,vt.ht%"N}ƵX z[2|\ k7:ohy IJM Т[>5zg[_ȭ0„رv}]rDN~_Rk:Қez13Wu1}b  ) ȨVe 櫞H btux@jC99m7Ccu:̤c+ vzA VEW=B,YB̹9KSMkome ƃ{tPƚ3 /k|_jego =zM""_7'p:ZQ>[1~2ONI/ ŵB\u)"O1)tdB~Q We do not know if he has had surgery or not.

BOUNDARIES/DECENCY
We are frustrated in that Jack continues to violate the boundaries (i.e.: restroom use, going to the college group, talking about inappropriate sexual things in prayer groups). He shows up late, is inconsistent in attendance in all the aforementioned activities we have invited him to. When he does attend, he often gets up during bible studies and moves to the front or leaves early.

We have set him up with a counselor, but believe he has attended perhaps only 3-4 sessions this past year. We sense there are other mental health issues going on, but that is from both our non counselor opinions. Often his conversation is not in reality, so we gently try to bring him back to what is true.

WHATS A WOMAN TO DO?
Our womens directional team has asked that we not allow Jack to attend. We typically resource women with severe problems to a support group or mentoring partner, so they ask, why are we allowing Jack to disrupt things? Good question. Jack believes the sermons and singles group sermons are over his head (thats why he likes college). However, our womens studies are very in depth as well. We have offered to him a small group basic seeker study, but he doesnt really want that either. Many of our ideas are rejected. The pastor I mentioned has been very good in extending grace and yet holding Jack accountable. He had the bathroom/college talk with him this week, again. I would be willing to meet with him for a seeker study, but is that the best place for him?

Obviously, we need help as to how to best minister to Jack and yet minister to our GIRLS as well. So I ask:

*1. What place is the best fit for Jack?

*2. What are the best ways for us as leaders to minister to Jack?

COMPASSIONATE RESPONSE


Even if he has had the rearrangement of skin folds, to the point that his external body appears to be that of a pseudo female; he nonetheless is still only a "he." The essence of who you are in your genetics, anatomy, chromosomes, DNA., etc....do not magically change by the surgical amputation of that which once formerly defined him a male.

SOME GUIDELINES TO REMEMBER:
Walk in the truth of who God made us to be; how that process was short-circuited, and what can be done to bring rectification to his greatly fractured soul is crucial.
1. His obvious disregard for your standards, expectations, and kindness/grace... is a signal that he is only intent upon ultimately forcing his ways upon you.
2. His lack of follow-through with counseling is another indicator of his true resistance to change his conduct, get well, and repent. His behavior is very disruptive and less than considerate of young and innocent lives looking on.
3. READ BOLD LOVE by Dr. Dan Allender, especially the chapter on "Loving the Biblical Fool."

4. FLIGHT TOWARD WOMAN is a compassionate and truth-telling book written by Jerry. These issues are covered in much more detail within this manuscript.

BE SURE TO PREVIEW ALL OF THE TIMELY AND HELPFUL RESOURCES AVAILABLE


Views about the womens bathroom & other sacred places

THE BIBLE STUDY
No matter how effectively he may think he is fooling women, it is just plainly very simple: women know women ... and can spot a fraud immediately. It would indeed effect what would be shared in the group and that could and I emphatically believe would negatively effect the growing and learning that comes from a womans Bible study. His very presence would be stealing something from the women; while he would only feeding himself on the time spent at the Bible study for his own selfish needs and desires.

THE WOMENS BATHROOM
If Jack was in the restroom what would he be thinking? Is he looking over the women to see who he desires to be most?
Are his eye's filled with envy because he knows he will never truly be a real woman?
Is he undressing the innocent women with his eyes and envious of their bodies?
Is he feeding off of the unsuspecting women and achieving his addictive emotional gratification?
His main concern is a self-serving endorsement and exotic high by sitting on the stool, instead of standing up to the latrine as he is genetically built to do. No matter what he is doing, one thing is for certain; he is there not to relieve his bladder, but to obtain the exotic high by being accepted as a woman.
ONE WOMANS CONCERN:
When Jack enters a women's restroom he is lying to those of us in there. We perceive him as being female. He is stealing our feminine privacy. We believe the sign is clear and is posted there on the door so men will not enter. Only women are supposed to be entering into the women's restroom. He is most definitely violating my surroundings mentally, emotionally and physically. He is male no matter what clothes, make up, or pseudo name he wears. If I were standing before one mirror while Jack stood before the other mirror, I would know he is crossing a distinct social boundary; and clearly violating me with his deceiving manner of dress. More troubling would be his lustful observation of my privacy; observing me when I put on lipstick, perhaps brushing my hair or pull up my slip. I prefer for no strange man to watch me do any of these personal actions. Jacks invasive presence has stolen a safe and trusting place for women to be.

Jack would make it uncomfortable for women to be in their own gender restroom. Because of the Jack's in this ever-changing world, I find myself wondering more and more often, Is that really a woman in the next stall?

A man has no right to enter a woman's bathroom! If he truly identified and cared and respected women in a restroom as much as he cared about himself ... he would not violate women in this way. His intrusion only reveals his gross narcissism and lust-filled heart.
A sensible but non-politically correct conclusion:
No responsible mother or father would want their young or teenage daughter to use a restroom if they knew Jack was in there. Whether parents did or did not know he was in there, he would be violating the innocence of the younger generation -- of budding women and their right to feminine privacy.
Would the violation stop there? If he so carelessly violates their privacy by his willful disregard for the very intelligible sign on the door, will he then be empowered to do so in other ways? Or, are we chancing, even encouraging, further harm and intrusions to happen to all women of all ages by not enforcing common-sense standards as basic as men & womens bathrooms?

Our permissive society seems only interested in not wanting to hurt the feelings of an emotionally-ill man wearing a dress in womens bathrooms.

THE REAL QUESTION:
Whos feelings should really be taken into consideration?

Common sense would expect that my daughter and I could safely enter our gender-specific bathroom, and go there to accomplish what it is that women do while there, in strict privacy; never wondering about their privacy, or if there is a very confused man in the next stall?

 

 

 

 
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